Today (and many days past) I find myself grappling with the fact that I am now indeed one of them, a missionary. The word 'missionary' alone has me grappling and then throw in all of the connotations that come with it and I feel dizzy.
Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to be a missionary. But why? Why did that desire never go away? I have always dreamed of living a life that counted. I wanted to do something with my life that would have a lasting impact. I wanted to live a life that was about others. I wanted to sacrifice, to serve, to live!
In order to be a full time vocational missionary I have to raise my support or in other words I have to raise my own salary. This is a concept that is hard to understand. Phase one in this process was to send out letters to everyone I know... presenting this wonderful path God has me on, presenting the need I have to walk this path, and presenting the opportunity to give. Phase two is to follow up on the letters, make appointments and present it all once again in hopes that they will feel the Lord leading them to partner with me.
Phase three has turned into everyone grappling with the concept that what I have presented to them is indeed NOT a mission TRIP. What I am asking people to join is my Life! I am asking people to commit to providing for my needs every month for the next 5 years! I'm not going on a trip, I'm moving.
The dictionary defines Missionary as "a person who is sent to a foreign country to do religious work." The words Go, Sent, Do all seem to go hand in hand with missionary. But what about the word Live. In order to be sent, to go and do the Lord's work I am moving to Italy to live. And I grapple...
God has asked me to pack up and move to Rome so that His name might be known. This journey is not about me... Jesus, help me get out of the way! Lord have your way, in every way!
Grappling... and coming to terms... I'm moving... Yep, I'm moving to Rome!
~Nicole
Nicole, I run up against the same issue of people labeling what I'm doing as a "mission trip" and I grapple with the sometimes hard reality that indeed it is not. It's a move away from everything common and comfortable because God has called me to. I yearn for the "life support" of others in that process because that's exactly what it is.
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