I am a layered person by nature. My outfit choices are great outward expression of what's on the inside - a hodge podge, mix-match of layers. Where most people don't get to see the layers exposed all too ofter God sees each layer and desires that they all be striped away. But why? God doesn't really want me to be in pain or exposed and laid bare, right?!
Why would God choose to place me in the fire? He desires my heart to be completely open to His will. God desires and commands all of our lives and layers (or walls you could also call them) are hindrances and distractions that He won't allow to stay.
You see God is a passionate God. He is consumed with love for me and desires I be consumed with love for Him. But in order to be able to love Him rightly - with all my heart, soul, mind and strength - He must take us (me) through a refining process.
So far deputation has been a time of peeling back things that hinder me from loving Him and loving His will. The refining process can be painful but it is also FREEING! Over the past four months God has begun to peel back the layers of pride, doubt, insecurities, fear, longing of my heart, and on and on. Just when I think I can't get any more raw, He exposes another layer. And with every layer exposed I begin to see God clearer, find it easier to come into agreement with His will, cling to Him for my strength, and love Him more.
The song Refiner's Fire has been playing over and over in my head. These words I speak to the Lord as a prayer today, "Refiner's fire, my heart's one desire is to be holy, set apart for You, Lord. I choose to be holy, set apart for You my master, ready to do Your will. Purify my heart, cleanse me from within and make me holy."
Deputation = a time to get raw before the Lord so that at the end I come out refined like gold, ready to do His will!
May you allow the Lord to refine your heart today
~Nicole
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