Relationships

When God made the world, the animals, Adam, He looked at what He created and said it was good, even very good. But one thing was off... Adam was alone and that just wasn't going to work. Adam needed a helper, a companion, someone to do life with, a relationship.



I have been watching sermons from an amazing pastor - Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church. Back in 2007 He did a sermon series and one was on dating. I watched it. I cried. My mind did flips. My stomach sank. My heart thanked the Lord...


In my previous post I commented that God has been revealing so yuckiness (is that a word?!) of my heart. Expectations that were unreasonable and unhealthy. God is gently dealing with me and I am more than thankful as dealing with these things in Italy would seriously suck!!!


If you are a woman, more than likely you have thought about your wedding day since you were a little girl. Men, well I have no idea. I'm like 200% woman... I've not only thought about my wedding day since I was little, I've had it planned! As a little, spunky, over the top dreamer I plotted and planed what I thought my life would look like in 5...10...25 years. I can tell you that when I looked through my kaleidoscope to age 24 I did not see what I'm living now.


The idealist inside of me imagined... 24 - married! - at least a couple kids - some kind of house to live in - living in Africa or maybe the Amazon - loving life, smiling, and happy.


But the present looks at that list and wonders one thing... what happened? Where did that idealistic, day dreamer heart go? Now I understand that the above list seems silly and completely unrealistic but I don't believe that. What my 24 year old heart sees is this - I believed in love and happiness!


Between God ripping down walls I have built, new opportunities on the horizon, diving into teachings on relationships I find my heart in the most tender spot. I hear the Lord shouting "Don't harden your heart!!!! Don't let your love grow cold!!!"


I look at the present, I remember the past, I dream about the future... and I turn my eyes upward to my amazing Abba and with tears streaming and a shaky voice I say THANK YOU LORD! Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for pursuing my heart. Thank you for drawing me in to run after you. Thank you for the opportunity to learn what it means to be a godly wife and mother. Thank you for giving me these desires. Thank You for making me wait.


God said it was not good for man (humans) to be alone. What does this mean for me in this season? Jesus is my core, having friends who love me and "look" after me, living in community, joining a Team of missionaries, praying for my (future) husband, praying for the kiddos God will entrust me with, working, serving... living the life God has put in front of me.


Shedding unhealthy expectations. Embracing the here and now. Striving to be more like Jesus. Letting go of the past. Living for heaven. Loving even when it is hard.


My prayer (for you and me) is this - Father God break off all that hinders love. Teach our hearts to love you and in turn love others. Break off the bondage this world has wrapped around our hearts that we may be free!!!



~Nicole

picture source - google images