When...waiting

I have moments, days when anxiety rears its ugly head. Not fun. Not fun at all.

Although I know it's a bit of an oxymoron, when God is on the move in my life this happens. Well of course it does! The enemy loves to steal, kill and destroy. Anxiety... steals faith, kills joy and destroys productivity. Of course anxiety is knocking at my door right now... like Aslan running through Narnia... God is on the move.

A few days ago I had the most wonderful conversation with my new team leader. In a previous post I explained that my missionary destination had changed from Italy to Mali. Steve and Becky are the team leaders in Mali and let me tell you... they are WONDERFUL! Now, my previous team leaders were amazing. Truly beautiful people. They were and are still two of my closest friends and who I seek wise counsel from. Actually, after speaking with Steve I called Renee and excitedly jibber jabbered on and on. My Italy team leaders have and will continue to pray for me and my new team/team leaders. Sheesh... can you say blessed?!

I am absolutely convinced that when you set your heart to love Jesus and serve Him with your whole life He grants you blessings that are way above and beyond!!! I have taken some time this week to inventory my life, the blessings God has seen fit to give me. I am speechless (not a usually event for this talker)! Oh my golly-gee-widekers am I blessed.

Have you ever wanted something so bad waiting for it felt like it might kill you?! Well, that's were I am at right now. Teetering on being stable or a complete wreck as I wait from my time to move to Mali. Right now if I had my way I would spend my entire day at a coffee shop, tucked away in a corner with the table-top cluttered with my Bible, laptop and Rosetta Stone. All I want to do right now is eat the Word of God, hide it securely in my heart and learn French... repeat this until my toeies touch that beloved African dirt.

Right now all I can think about is getting to Mali. Doing what ever it takes to get to there. I have found my nights sleepless as I think about what my new life will be like - my new home, new friends, new language. I picture the women I will call friends and learn from. I dream of the children I will wrap my arms around. I long to know that language that will bring us together. My heart just might explode due to the wait.

But this truth I will hold close to my heart - Steve told me this the other night, "I know the wait it hard and you have waited a long time for this, but God is not in a hurry. He will get you here exactly when He wants you here."

So, anxiety I say this to you - I will not rush and I will not worry! God is not like man - He will never break His promises. He is for me and not against me! Jesus loves Africa even more than I do.. I will be there soon!

Beloved of Jesus,
Nicole