Fasting On Purpose - The Carlson Family

Last year I had the absolute privilege of meeting the Carlson Family.  We met through mutual friends and our own friendship formed shortly after.  As I got to know Heidi (Momma Carlson) my admiration for her grew.  She is unwavering and unapologetically rooted in her love for Jesus.  Matt and Heidi have two beautiful children and are currently in the adoption process, waiting to bring their son home from Malawi, Africa.  

This month I have invited you to come on a journey with me.  I invited you to take a month and fast something on purpose for a purpose.  One of the purposes I want you to consider this month is to give financially to the Carlson's adoption. 

Adoption is expensive.  Ransoming a child from a life of injustice is costly.  This should not be, but it is.  As the body of Christ we have an obligation, no, a privilege to come alongside families and help lift the financial burden!  I really hope that makes you excited because it is exciting!  It is exhilarating.

I asked Heidi to share her heart with you and agreed.  She has the most beautiful heart!!!


I used to be in this place.  I’ll call it… entitlement disguised as trusting God.  It started when I got married.  I already had a child from a past of selfish decisions, immaturity and walking in this world.  She was born when I was just 17.  Nine years later, I finally had a man in my life without the baggage that typically filled the room so full it was hard to breathe.  He was normal, nice, adorably nerdy.  Just the right combination for God to reel me back in.  We started attending church together and The Holy Spirit grabbed a hold of me.  I wanted more.  I desired to follow God’s truth and figure out what that truly meant in my life. 

My husband and I talked about wanting more children.  I was also on a more holistic journey in terms of toxins and food choices, and I knew I wouldn’t ever get on birth controls meds again.  I started looking into natural family planning, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of sticking my hand where it didn’t belong.  My husband and I decided to leave our family planning up to God.  We got pregnant shortly after getting married and had a beautiful baby, right in our living room no less!  It was amazing! 

People started asking the inevitable “next step“ question…”Are you going to have more kids?”  I had my answer locked and loaded, “We would like to, but we’re leaving it up to God.”  Man, did that feel great!  I even got the all-confirming, big-eyed stares and comments like, “Wow!  That’s faith!” or “That’s so great.  We stopped after three, and I always wondered if we were supposed to have more.” I would have pat myself on the back if I didn’t know that pride was a sin. 

Once my son was one and I could get pregnant again, I started taking pregnancy tests every month.  Surely God would reward my faith and trust in Him with getting pregnant right away.  Month after month passed.  I didn’t want to be upset, but I was.  Why wasn’t I getting pregnant?  I just felt unsettled, unhappy, maybe even ungrateful.  The ungrateful part was the worst.  More time passed.  I bulk ordered my pregnancy tests by then.  What?  They’re expensive!  I started to feel God gently remind me of the blessings I already had.  I knew what I was doing.  I just didn’t know how to stop.  I started with simply asking for His help to be grateful for the blessings He has already given me, especially with children.  My husband and I could practically see our dinner table filled with children.  What would our lives look like with all those empty seats?  God brought me through the journey of figuring that out.  It would be okay.  Actually, it would be pretty great.  I submitted.  I finally reached the point of truly submitting my life to Him.  When I was saying, “We are leaving how many children we have up to God,” what I really meant was “as long as we have more.” I admitted my entitlement.  I repented and stopped taking those tests! 

It was when I truly repented and submitted to His plan that He revealed what that would be.  “If you go there, you won’t come home without your child.”  Those words He spoke to me in a way I have never felt before.  I immediately knew He meant adoption.  We are two years into our adoption journey now.  Our son is waiting for us in Africa.  I recently spent seven weeks in Africa with him, but the system is slow.   We are desperate to get him home, but desperate to obey God and let him work.  I never could have imagined the things God would develop in me through obedience to Him.  If you haven’t already, please consider digging into those areas in your life you feel entitled to.  If you are like me and trying to disguise it as following God, repent, submit and watch God refine you into something completely different than you ever thought you would be.  May God bless you on your journey, as He has on mine. 

Thank you so much Heidi for sharing your heart and challenging us to go deeper in Jesus!
~Nicole