I can't really remember what life was like before.
I haven't been away for all that long but now that almost 5 months have gone by, life as I knew it is gone. And the reality that my life is truly forever changed is beginning to sink in.
The life I once knew is gone and now it is time to figure out what life looks like now.
But it's hard to do that here in the waiting. Here in the temporary. France is not my home. I am just passing by on my way to my new home.
So, how do I make a life here for now?
I think that very question has been hard for me the last few months. And I don't think I will ever be able to figure out the answer. Cultivating friendships that I know are temporary is hard. Building real relationships with like-minded people who in just a few months will move on to their new home.
It would be easier and less painful to just not cultivate anything. To allow ourselves to stay strangers.
But that is just not possible. God made humans to be in community. Then drop those humans in a foreign country to learn a foreign language in order to go live in another foreign country - community is what you cling to!
The Lord knows it is difficult for me to open up and let people in when I know it is not permanent He knows. He also knows how much I need the community of believers around me to survive. We may not be going to the same places but we are doing this together - as sisters and brothers in Christ!
Our lives look odd and feel as odd as they look. But our little "commune" is home, for now. And we are each other's families, for now. It's an odd place to be when... strangers bond and become anything but strangers.
It would be easier and less painful to just not cultivate anything. To allow ourselves to stay strangers.
But that is just not possible. God made humans to be in community. Then drop those humans in a foreign country to learn a foreign language in order to go live in another foreign country - community is what you cling to!
The Lord knows it is difficult for me to open up and let people in when I know it is not permanent He knows. He also knows how much I need the community of believers around me to survive. We may not be going to the same places but we are doing this together - as sisters and brothers in Christ!
Our lives look odd and feel as odd as they look. But our little "commune" is home, for now. And we are each other's families, for now. It's an odd place to be when... strangers bond and become anything but strangers.
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| *picture found on pinterest |
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