les vacances

Today marked my first day of summer vacation.  I will have the next five weeks class free.  I woke up today able to breathe freely.  There was a noticeable change in me, a tangible lightness I could feel.

There are some people who thrive in a classroom, I am not one of those people.  And it wasn't until today that I really saw just how stressed I have been over the last seven months.

This morning I woke up with no agenda or plan for the day.  C'est la vie.  Come what may.  For the first time in weeks the air was cool and I wasn't sweating before getting out of bed.  I have a feeling that the temperature played a huge role in my peace today.

As I sat on the couch in the lounge with the windows open, the cool air blowing in, listening to the rain fall I let my thoughts pour onto the pages of my journal.  I let out the utterings that have been trapped inside my mind.  I allowed myself to get real, get real with the big man upstairs...

I wrote and wrote and did not hold back.

For months I have been chocked.  I needed to get out the muck and mire that is callousing my heart.  I had to give the thoughts and feelings words.  I needed to expose the hidden things for the chocking to be released.  As my pen filled page after page, lie after lie became exposed.  No longer allowed to fester.  Light was shed on darkness known and unknown to my weary soul.

The last seven months have brought testings.  Today I came to terms with the fact that I have not handled the testings well.  My heart has been heavy and burdened with my own short-comings.

I am thankful for an agenda free five weeks.  Time to rest.  Time to revive my heart.  Three cheers for summer vacation!