Saturday, February 15, 2014

one week down

I have thought about sitting down to write everyday over the past week.  But as I think about writing, I think about what I would write.  For me writing here is like talking.  This place is basically me having a verbal conversation with people whom I am far away from and want to talk to but can't.

The problem is, I don't know what I should talk to you about.  There are so many things.  Then again, not every one of the things on my heart need to be talked about right now.  Oh the decisions...

Today marks one week in Mali.  This has possibly been the longest week of my life.  Not in a bad way though!  Just long.  Every sense I have has been over loaded.  Per usual when moving to a new city overseas.

New sounds
New sights
New smells
New textures
New tastes

Everything is new.

I haven't yet been able to wrap my mind around the fact that I am actually here.  I can remember years ago wishing and hoping and praying I would one day get to go.  One day I would get to live in Africa.  Well the one day has come and I'm still pinching myself to see if it is real.

Oh, it's real.  The absolute change of cultures is real.  The "African dust" that people tried to explain to me, is real.  The heat... oh the heat, yeah it's real (and only just beginning)! But for me, for me the thing that is most real, are the people.

I have wanted to take so many pictures this week because some of the things I have seen I can't believe I'm seeing them.  But then I can't take the pictures and so I take a mental one.  As much as I want other people, people back in the states to see what I am seeing, I can't take the pictures.  These people are real.  The situations that are so odd and bizarre to me are their EVERY DAY lives.

The poverty I see that rips at my heart, is their everyday life.
The crazy traffic that makes no sense to me, is their normal.
The injustice and corruption that is so blatant, is their reality.

As I take in all these new things and try to find some understanding to their realities I am left grappling with my own.  My reality is different now.  I find myself at the end of the day having to sift through my heart and try to decipher if what I am feeling is from what I have seen that day or the piece of my heart that is missing.

I can't believe how many times I have wanted to get on skype to call Mom.  I have so many things I want to share with her.  I have so many decorating questions and cool things I want to share with her.  I want to tell her about the dust and how appalled she would be by it.  I want to show her all my pictures.  I want her to see that I made it here... 14 years of bugging her with this crazy dream.  Oh, how I would love to talk to her and see her face.  I miss her smile.  I miss her voice.  I miss her.

But in all of this I find my comfort and hope and peace in knowing that the only reality that is true and lasting is a life rooted and grounded in Christ.  The Lord has been faithful and will always be faithful to get me through whatever comes my way.

One week down.  A lifetime to go. :-)    

2 comments:

  1. Lovely, Nicole. I'm excited for you :)

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  2. Nicole, what an awesome post! As I've been praying for you, I too cannot believe you are finally THERE!!!! AHHHHH! So thankful. :)

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